Why do I miss my scars from previous self harm? (Self-Harm) | 7 Cups
Jan 20, It's not that I'm embarrassed of my scars and cuts being seen by others, I just don't want my parents to find out. My brain tells me I should miss them but my heart says that I don't and I won't. Would you date a girl with old self harm scars?. Nov 12, I don't know, to me it'll be really sad to miss out on an amazing and . I would have no issue with dating someone with self harm scars as I do. I think many people see self harm as a form of control. When the things in your life spiral downwards, you look to self harm. I think maybe you miss the scars.
I was 21, and coming out of a college lit seminar, when a classmate stopped me. I admired this person the way we sometimes admire people strictly because they possess certain traits we lack. In this case, it was self-confidence.
She was short, a bit overweight, and carried herself in a way that was profoundly, if inexplicably, sexy, dressing in an array of tight-fitting spandex outfits colored in mismatching neon shades, clothing so gaudy it should have been ugly, and maybe would have been on someone else, but the way it wrapped around her frame made her look unshakably desirable.
I wished I could pull such a thing off, but I dressed down in non-flattering loose fitting t-shirts and floor-length skirts, neutral colors like brown and black. I never thought of myself as noticeable, but she had noticed me, and I felt a momentary quiver of excitement. It is a combination of necessity and apathy, barely a decision at all. My scars are impossible to hide. They are undeniable, thin white lines running up and down both arms from shoulder to wrist.
Even long sleeves cannot conceal the totality of the damage done. I never plan to cut. It is always an impulsive urge. Sometimes, I keep razor blades on hand in case I need a fix, but the act itself comes in uncontrolled and unwanted moments of panic. By virtue of this spontaneity, I lack the foresight to cut in concealable places.
I tear into my arms with razor blades, broken glass, x-acto knives, fabric shears, any sharp object in reach. At some point, unconsciously, I stopped caring if others noticed. People rarely comment anyway. My classmate was the first and only person to do so. When I tell people I am a cutter, the question of why arises.
Why on earth would a person turn, with such utter ferocity, against their own body? Why ignore all instincts of self-preservation to shred the sheltering confines of the skin and expose the vulnerable underbelly of human flesh?
Non-suicidal self-injury, the current diagnostic term, is now its own disorder. Prior toself-harm was classified as a symptom of other conditions.
Why do I miss my scars from previous self harm?
To be diagnosed, one has to have engaged in self-harm on at least five days of the past year, motivated by one of three things: I do not know what motivates me. The act is rarely premeditated.
It is nearly always a hysterical response to emotional turmoil. I can tell you there is a certain release in cutting. It is a kind of purging, as if some demonic energy is expelled from my body through the act.
Cutting is often the only thing that can placate me during a panic attack. All the varied breathing exercises prescribed by psychiatrists pale in comparison to the sheer fulfillment of blood. Once I draw blood, it is over. A symbolic climax is reached, and I can rest. Like alcoholics who swear they only drink after five, I have certain comforting justifications.
Cutting is better than many self-destructive forms of stress-relief. It is less physically harmful than smoking, binge drinking, any variety of hard narcotics, less risky than promiscuous sex. Cutting is at least only cosmetic damage, literally only skin-deep, and my skin is all around un-pretty anyway, patchy and discolored as is, and so the scars only make an already ugly thing uglier.
Would you date a person with self-harm scars? - The Student Room
My older brother is an attorney. He wants to dissect and then, in a curt closing statement, explain, no room left for the ambiguity of untidy answers. He once told me he knew why I cut. He had tried before to get me to stop, had gone as far as to claim that when I cut red marks inexplicably appeared on his own arms, a lie told in hungry desperation.
I also remind myself of all of the reasons why scars are a pain to have, so that even on days when I miss them I can remind myself I'm better off without them. I hope this helps a little. Additional help for self injury can be found at selfinjury.
Each scar was related to an event or emotion or memory, and as the scars faded, I worried that I would forget what they had stood for. I still miss mine, at times, because for a while they were integral to how I saw myself. At some point, you'll look at yourself in a new light, and maybe you won't miss them as much.
Since it was such a hard part of your life, you may want that to be part of your personal significance and identity.
They provided a source of comfort and became a part of your identity. But it's time to move, because that was in the past and we want to move on from the past. Women who self-harm often do it as a form of release, a way to mask emotional pain by supplementing with physical pain. Sometimes this coping mechanism continues throughout our lives, in different ways.I Cut Myself And I Wish I Never Started
When I first started self-harming, for example, I would mainly hit myself or pull my hair. As I grew older, I began cutting and experimenting with drugs. After the drugs, I started making myself throw up. Eventually, it progressed to enticing my abusive partner to cut me, and later to challenging her to hit me. It just takes diligence and an understanding partner.
Showing My Scars: On Self-Harm
Not everyone self-harms in the same ways. But, it might not. It becomes a type of addiction.